Hey, you! So nice of you to click to learn more about me, Kristina Henson.
I live in Upstate New York with my daughter, a Golden Retriever, and two cats. Before writing and illustrating my two books, One Hundred Birds Telling One Hundred Little Stories and Letters to Lily, I maintained a blog and regularly published personal essays while working in the graphic design industry by day and devoting the majority of the rest of my time doing what I love the most — writing and creating books. I love everything about books. With all that’s inside of them—the things I can learn, the places I can travel to, the characters I can fall in love with—what isn’t there to love?
I can define myself by being so many things: a mother, a daughter, a sister, an artist, an author, a designer. But most importantly—and what I remind myself of often—is that I am a woman who needs to create. 
I hope you enjoy a peek into my studio and life. 
Kristina 

Announcing...What the Duck

Announcing...What the Duck

kristina henson

The 2024 100 Day Project begins this Sunday, February 18th, and this is me officially announcing my project. I wasn't sure if I was up for doing it this year, and honestly, I'm still trying to figure it out, BUT I will start and see what happens. 

My project is titled "What the Duck". 
Why "What the Duck"?

1) Auto-correct. One day, I was texting my sister and typed  "What the f*ck" and it auto-corrected to "What the duck" with a little duck emoji. For some reason, I found this to be hysterical. No matter how many times I retyped f*ck, it auto-corrected to duck. Stupid phone. Just let me swear, please. 

2) I've written about Webster Pond before; it is the place I have visited my whole life where I feel peaceful and forget about everything I am overthinking while I'm there. 

3) This past October, my work office closed for a mental health day, and I used the time to do a car repair, took myself out to lunch, and was home on the couch doing some sketches when my Doctor called. Even tho I was waiting for test results that worried me; I still wasn't prepared for the call. My pap smear came back abnormal again, but this time, cancer was present, and they were referring me to an Oncologist. Ohhh, the irony of getting this call on my declared mental health day. Oof. To say that this has been a challenging time in my life is an understatement. If I had to rank this in my worst nightmare category, it is my 2nd worst nightmare. My first would be something happening to Lily. 

As I write this, I am on a leave of absence from work as I am home recovering from my second surgery. I can feel a shift this week and feel more like myself until about noon when I want to nap like an infant. 

It is as expected, they say. 
It will get easier, they say. 
I am waiting, I say. 

I went for my post-surgical pathology review appointment last week, and the OBGYN Oncologist was happy to tell me that no further treatment is needed. Let your body heal. You will be okay.  I'm stuck in this place of numbness. I hope this project helps me heal. Not physically, I got that. 
I need to heal the wounds in my heart. 
The betrayal I feel towards my body. 
The fear. 
I didn't have a reaction when the Doctor said everything was okay. I didn't celebrate and buy a new pair of shoes. I smiled, asked him to reread it, and sat there, still in my place of numbness. 

So, now what? How do I go back to living my regular sweet life? I keep wondering and waiting to know how to move past this. Do I need a therapist? A priest? An exorcism? No, my wounded heart is telling me what I need is already within me.
Be quiet and listen. 
You are a writer. 
Writers write. 
Tell your story. 

I honestly don't know where this project is going. I don't understand what the middle might look like or how it ends. There is a good chance this is too soon to talk about it. I'm giving myself permission to stop if I need to. "Delete" if I need to. Other than that, my only plan is to keep showing up, keep feeding the ducks, keep dragging my ass out of bed in the morning, and remind myself how lucky I am.

I haven't told many people about what has been happening. Not because it's a secret, or I don't like you, it's just so painful to say the words out loud. Every time I do, I cry. My throat closes up. My knees shake. It feels like one of the Dementors from Harry Potter is looming overhead, feeding on me, sucking my happiness. My family knows, except for my Grandmother, so if you see her, please don't tell her. I lied my fool head off and told her I had the flu and I wouldn't be over for a few weeks. She turned 99 yesterday. I don't want her or anyone to worry about me. I'm going to be okay; it's just been a  WHAT THE DUCK  bump in my path. 

If you want to follow along with my project, I'll post my duck pond sketches and some of my stories on Instagram. If it feels too icky or like I am oversharing personal stuff, maybe I'll switch it up and share my progress in a weekly newsletter. Maybe I'll decide to keep it all to myself. I really don't know. Even as I get to the end of this page, I wonder if I want to hit the send button and have this part of me in your inbox. 

Much love,
Kristina

Want to know more about my process and the 100 Day Project? Listen to the What Women Create podcast where I talk about all bits of my 100 Day Projects. xo

What the Duck - Day 100!

What the Duck - Day 100!
Dream

Dream
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